You’re beautiful, smart, amazing, and worthy of greatness. Tell yourself these words everyday. Wait for someone else to tell you if you want to, or you can choose to be your own biggest fan. Makeup can make you look beautiful. So can that new black dress and new fancy hairdo. However, if you don’t feel beautiful on the inside everything else is just exactly what I said…..things that make you look beautiful. You have to feel beautiful from within first. That is where it starts. Loving yourself completely and knowing your worth is the beginning of true beauty. Everything you put on the outside will just help enhance the inner pretty that lies within.
We all have experienced heartbreak from a man at one time or another. It happens to the best of us. It’s all part of that emotional thing called love. It’s super easy for us women to become bitter after a bad breakup. The lies, the hurt, the pain that an unhealthy relationship can bring. It can be very discouraging to try love ever again!
In the past after getting out of terrible relationships it took me a while to bounce back. It was hard to trust again after being betrayed and mistreated. I felt that every guy was a dog, and good men no longer existed. I was having a conversation with a guy that I was interested in, and he said to me “Why are you even trying to date? I can’t get to know you with this brick wall you have up. ” Needless to say that didn’t work out!
He was right with what he said. I couldn’t even see the wall l had built around myself, but as a man he could easily. To me it was about trying to protect myself from lying cheating no good men. In reality I was hindering myself from allowing a good, kind, honest man from coming into my life.
I learned that I can date smarter. I don’t have to be quick to trust every guy right away, but still allow myself to open up when I feel it’s right. I was holding on to what men I’ve dated in the past had done, and allowing it to prevent me from finding the love I deserve. I realized that being bitter wasn’t healthy. It was a huge hinderance. I learned that instead of being hurt and bitter to learn, grow, and be better!
It’s often super hard to not let past mistakes and regrets hold us back. The past can be haunting. It can lurk around the corner when we are trying to move away from it. We hold on to it knowing that we should just let it go, but being human we often get stuck in the shoulda woulda coulda. It’s a dance that we dance with ourselves. I’m moving forward but let me step back. Forward forward back back. Wishing we did this differently or said this or done that. Then at the end of our thoughts we realize that there is not a single thing we can do. It’s the past. It’s done and will never return.
Sounds sad right, but in actuality it’s not. Mistakes and regrets from the past can better prepare us for the future. They are life lessons and pearls of wisdom that we now have under our belts because been there done that. You can’t change yesterday, last week, or last year. What you can do is allow those past mistakes and failures to be lessons that you learn, grow, and become better from. Let your past prepare you for a better future!
Dear society…we don’t care about your unrealistic beauty standards! You for so long have told us women that we have to look a certain way. You have created this unrealistic box and made women who don’t fit into it, feel like they aren’t beautiful. Women of color especially know this to be true, because we have never fit into your closed minded standard of beauty anyway. Your standards are lies and they are harmful! They are putting pressure on our young girls and women, making them go to desperate measures to try to fit in your beauty box. A box that is unfair, unrealistic, and unattainable. A box that doesn’t allow room for women of all different shapes, sizes, and complexions.
So from here on out…we are taking your standards and putting them back in your box. We are taking that box and throwing it as far away from this universe as possible so it can never return. We will create our own standards of beauty. Where each woman is encouraged to be her best self, and not try to look like what she sees in a magazine. Where dark skin will be considered just as beautiful as light skin. Where imperfections will be celebrated instead of condemned and ridiculed. Where the definition of beauty lies in our hearts and not in the hands of the media.
Dear society we have decided to define beauty. You will no longer define it for us!
Are you ready to get to the point in your life where you no longer care about what people think? I don’t mean that in a bad way. I mean it in the way of not letting other people’s opinions or judgements hinder you from living your best life. The reality is people will always have something to say. Some people run their mouths because it’s all they know how to do. A lot of times the ones that talk the most are the most miserable. You can’t stop people from talking, judging, and being who they are. What you can stop is how much you let their chatter and opinions hinder you. Sometimes you have to just tune out their noise and turn up that inner voice that speaks to your heart. So again the question is… are you ready to get to the point in your life where you no longer care what people think? My answer is definitely yes.
I came across the question what would you do if you were not afraid? I don’t remember where I saw this. A Twitter post, a T-shirt, I cannot recall. I just remember seeing those words and it stuck with me. It made me think about my life, and how I have allowed myself to becomes fear’s victim. I have allowed fear to hold me back from so many things. Fear of what others may think. Fear of failure. Fear of this and fear of that!! As I pondered on this and those words kept speaking to my spirit, I knew that I had to make the choice whether or not to continue to be fear’s victim. So I ask you this…what would you do if you were not afraid?
If you want to live the life you truly want, you have to do something. It sounds simple, actually it is. We as women tend to make it a lot harder than it needs to be. You may listen to negativity and the outside world more than you listen to your heart. You may dream about the life you want to live but don’t do anything to attain it. Whether it be fear or whatever the reason, there is a force holding you back. You may dream of being an entrepreneur, losing weight, traveling across the country, but none of these things are going to happen if you simply do nothing! Do something!
Even it that something you do is small. Take small steps to get to the larger goal. If you want to loose weight, start walking, eating healthier. If you want to leave a bad relationship take the steps to remove yourself from it. Small steps will lead to bigger ones. The more steps you take the closer you become to your dream, your goals, your destination. Again do something!